Did you read the recent post that highlighted tips for having a great vacation? Bill and I just returned from a Caribbean cruise (score!), and before we boarded the ship, I’m so glad we took our own advice and heeded the tips we routinely pass on to other travelers.

Our main goal for this cruise was pure relaxation and down-time, with no schedule and no ‘shoulds’ – just pure freedom to roam and do what feels right in the moment. So before the cruise, we did some research and figured out what we wanted to do on each island, making sure to keep it low-key.

However, during the cruise – each time our ship pulled into port, we both felt a bit uneasy. The truth was that neither of us wanted to get off the ship, despite the sheer beauty of each island that beckoned us.

So we did something crazy. We stayed on the ship for the week, instead of venturing out onto the islands.

And each time we thought, “Wait, shouldn’t we be getting off the ship to explore the expansive beauty?” After all, our favorite place in the whole world is the string of Caribbean islands. Everyone’s got their vice; ours is the Caribbean.

What happened in St. Thomas

The morning we pulled into St. Thomas, we slept in, had a leisurely breakfast, lounged on the deck, walked the track, and then went back to the room to get ready for the island. We thought for sure we’d do our favorite deal – have lunch at the Greenhouse and visit the beach we’re so enamored with – Magen’s Bay. But once in the room, we looked at each other with a mutual: “We’re not going anywhere” nod.

So we stayed on the ship.

Huh? What a strange thought. You’re supposed to get out and enjoy the islands! But then we quickly realized that this was a “should.” The truth: Even though we were docked at such a beautiful lush island, what we really wanted to do was enjoy relaxing on the ship while everyone else was in port. It almost felt a little naughty – after all, the beauty of a cruise is to take you to exotic destinations with exciting experiences you want to write home about.

Our gut told us, though, that this week was our turn to enjoy the ride and not focus on the destination(s). Staying onboard was certainly the road less traveled, but it’s what felt right.

That day in St. Thomas, instead of following a ‘schedule,’ we followed our hearts.

We walked the ship and stumbled upon a ping pong table, so we played (quite the aerobic workout and a very heated match!). Playing in flip-flops not recommended.

We walked by a hammock for two. So we got in. And we laughed ‘cause we kept gravitating toward the middle, squashing each other.

We smelled the grill and grabbed a burger.

We walked by a putting green. So Bill took a couple of shots.

We strolled by a cushiony chaise lounge for two. So we reclined. Bill read, and I got lost in the blue sky and watched cloud formations.

We walked by the ice cream counter. I’m sure you can guess what we did there (yum)!

It was as though life kept “appearing” as we continued walking…and invited us in. None of it was planned, none of it was expected, none of it was on the agenda.

We caught some sun on the deck, relished in the live steel drum music, and then enjoyed late afternoon pizza.

That day, Bill spent a good amount of time reading (his favorite thing to do on vacation). And I spent the time just staring at the ocean and the hills of the island (my favorite thing to do!).

And around 4:00 (see, we have restraint), we grabbed a cocktail at our favorite bar.

Then as we pulled away from St. Thomas, we were greeted by the most amazing sunset and watched the whole thing unfold right from our private balcony.

It really was a perfect day.

Anyone we encountered that night told us about their busy and fun day in St. Thomas, and naturally wanted to know about our day on the island. I was surprised by their reaction when we said we stayed on the ship. Most of them seemed to pause, reflect on the novel idea, and then said something like: “Good for you” or “I like your thinking” or “I’ll have to try that sometime!” The day was just what we needed. It was the perfect day to just ‘be’ without rushing, without a schedule, without the “should’s.”

The other islands

The next day we also stayed on the ship while we docked in beautiful St. Maarten – one of our top picks! It’s okay, though, the island will wait for us until next time. In the meantime, it turned out to be another perfect day of doing nothing. Besides, we could feel the vibe of the island and it felt like we were a part of something amazing anyway.

When we docked in San Juan, Bill did have one special request. He wanted to get off the ship and stop in Senor Frog’s right across the street for one of their legendary margaritas. “Ugh,” I thought to myself, “That’s the place where we used to whoop it up in our twenties.” I was so not interested in going inside that crazy establishment. But we were celebrating Bill’s birthday that week so I kept quiet. We opened the door and the music blasted my ears off and instantly we were invited in to do megashots. Nice. I ended up sharing my disdain with Bill and said, “This is stupid. We’re gonna be the oldest ones in here!”

And the joke was on me.

To my surprise, we were actually the youngest ones, by at least a decade! The other touristy partiers in the place served as a reminder to me to lighten up and enjoy the moment. They were obviously following their joy! And they provided fantastic entertainment. We never saw any shows on the ship, but this group of wild seniors certainly made up for it!:

Throughout the week, there were all kinds of opportunities to be busy on the ship. From art auctions to dance lessons to bingo. It’s all good stuff, but I’m proud of us for not partaking in any of it because we stuck with what felt right in the moment. And that was generally to just “be” and go with the flow.

It does take work to stick to that plan, though, especially when there are endless exciting opportunities and activities and islands distracting you at every turn! (Although I will say that at the end of the week I was tempted to attend the “Weight Loss” and “Puffy Eyes” Seminars conducted by the Spa staff).

I was grateful for the one thing that we did keep in our plans that week: Formal Night! It was fun to get dressed up among a few thousand others who participated in the elegant occasion with us. We clean up well, don’t we?

The lesson

Many of my clients talk about how hard it is to keep focused in life when there are so many things in front of them. I know. Life can certainly be distracting. But on this trip, I was reminded of the importance to:

1) Be clear on what you want; crystal clear

2) Keep checking in with yourself to ensure you’re honoring your needs; if you’re not – adjust accordingly

3) Enjoy the ride – that’s where joy lives

My clients know that when you say ‘no’ to one thing, you’re actually saying a bigger, resounding “Yes!” to something more important in the moment. So, by saying ‘no’ to spending time on the islands, I was saying “Yes!” to the down-time I so craved that week.

Every vacation, I come back feeling wiser and more enlightened. This time I learned the power of going with the flow and detaching from (self-imposed) expectations. My job these next few weeks and months will be to incorporate my new ‘a-ha’s’ into my daily living at home. Feel free to check-in on me. :)

And be sure to check-out my additional post about our cruise called The Joy of Being Pampered. For anyone who has ever yearned to take better care of themselves - this one is a must-read.

How good of a job are you doing at letting yourself “be”? And what have you learned along the way that helps you stay on track?

Author’s Note: A big shout-out to Celebrity Cruises! Our new favorite cruise line, hands-down. They rock!

Minding my own business at home one evening last week, I got a totally unexpected call. “Hi, I’m an Eden Prairie police officer and I’m sitting here at the softball field with your husband.”

In the millisecond before he continued talking, my mind raced with thoughts of: “WHAT did Bill do?” I couldn’t help but think of all the wild and crazy college tales that have lived on through the years. Several scenarios rushed to mind: “Did he drink too much and trash the field?” “Did he climb the water tower and spray paint it purple?” I wracked my brain and wondered what on earth the police officer caught him doing.

 “Your husband got hit in the face with a softball and he’s bleeding quite a bit. I’ll sit here with him until you can get here and take him to the hospital.”

That’s when the curveball came.

I moved fast. Not knowing what I would find when I got to the field, I talked out loud to myself and my team of angels on my drive and prepared. My friend, Maryanne O’Brien, founder of Live Dynamite, often signs her emails, “Expect the best.” I love that! And so I began this journey expecting the best in every situation: Expecting the best care, the best doctors, the best experience possible.

When I got to the field, the kind police officer handed Bill over to me, and what I saw didn’t surprise me. Despite the blood-soaked gauze held over his nose and blood spattered all over him, Bill was smiling. Yep, that’s my guy.

* * * * *

The trip to the Emergency Room is behind us. This past week has been one of slowing down, intense focus, learning about different medications, and enjoying our beautiful Minnesota fall weather.

There are all kinds of additional details that ensued on the journey, but they’re not necessarily important here. What is important, though, are the reminders that came in loud and clear.

The first is gratitude. One of the first things Bill said was how grateful he was that the ball didn’t hit his eyes or mouth or anywhere else on his head. If you’re going to get hit in the face with a ball, square on the bridge of the nose seems to be the best bet! One of the doctors told us of his friend who got hit in the eye with a softball…and lost his vision in that eye. Hearing that one gave me the chills, as I sat next to Bill, knowing how fortunate he was.

Gratitude. We’ve been embracing it all along.

Second is expecting the best. How wonderful that every single doctor and nurse we’ve dealt with has been a pleasure. Each doctor visit and experience along the way has been top-notch. It feels so good to trust in that and to “expect” great care.

I recently saw a status update on Facebook by someone that said: “My day is going to suck.” And you know what? I bet it did.

Expect the best, and that’s what you’ll get. It’s nice to have a cheering section of friends and family along the way, too! Here’s one fun example.

Third is a positive attitude. Despite the pain and discomfort, my Bill is always smiling. Throughout the week, he’s still managed to treat me as if I’m the most important person in the world. He still makes me laugh and uses funny cartoon voices at home. A co-worker said if they hadn’t seen his black eyes or gash on his nose, they would have never known anything had happened.

Bill is a master at choosing a positive attitude. I’m always learning from him.

* * * * *

My buddy is scheduled to have surgery this week to fix the broken nose. And of course we know and trust that all will be well.

Events, like this one, happen in our lives; they’re circumstances over which we have no control. What we end up experiencing – or our “outcome” – is directly related to how we choose to respond.

When something unexpected comes your way that doesn’t feel so good, will you choose to be upset, mad, or frustrated? Or will you choose to be grateful, appreciative, and peaceful? While I intellectually understand and teach this concept, this past week has certainly been an opportunity for me to fully put this stuff into practice!

One last interesting note: This weekend we had our satellite radio station on three separate times. And each time, we heard the song, “Miracles.” If you’re not familiar with the synchronistic significance of this song in our lives, you’ve got to check this out! A-ma-zing.

Life will throw you curveballs. Not necessarily as ‘in your face’ as Bill’s (hopefully not!), but those throws out of left-field will make their way to you, because, well – that’s just life.

So, be sure to pack these things in your toolkit:

–Gratitude
–Expecting the Best
–A Positive Attitude

And…one of my guy friends (who shall go unnamed) also recommended I pack my “naughty nurse” outfit (assuming I have one), which is also probably not a bad idea. :)

Cheers to you in the game of life!

Author’s follow-up note: Bill’s surgery is behind him now and he had a speedy recovery and is doing great – whew!

I’m writing this from seat 9B on a flight from Milwaukee to Minneapolis, heading home with Bill after a 26-hour whirlwind mini-vacation. The trip was chock full of opportunities to “receive.” And let me tell you, it was quite a valuable lesson.

We’ve all heard the mantra: “It’s better to give than to receive.” Like most others, I always bought into that concept, too, until my ideas around it were challenged, causing me to think completely differently.

Yes, giving is wonderful! And it’s what makes the world go ‘round. However…

I just finished the book The Go-Giverby Bob Burg and John David Mann. If your life or business involves giving to others (which I hope it does!), then this book is a must-read. In the book, one of the Laws of Success is “The Law of Receptivity.” Its tagline: “The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.”

When I first saw that, I thought, “Huh?” But now I get it and I couldn’t agree more.

The Law of Receptivity

The book goes on to explain that as “all of humanity is breathing in oxygen and breathing out carbon dioxide…organisms of the plant kingdom are doing the exact opposite—breathing in carbon dioxide and breathing out oxygen. Their giving is our receiving, and our giving is their receiving.”

“In fact,” the book explains, “Every giving can happen only because it is also a receiving.”

Brilliant.

Most of the people in my life are tremendous givers. I’ll include myself here and say that it feels good to give and it comes naturally. I don’t really have to think about it; I must be hard-wired that way.

At the same time, I’ve always considered myself a pretty good receiver. When someone gives me a gift or a compliment, I take it all in and allow it into my heart. I feel the gratitude and appreciation and always let the other person know of the gift’s impact on me.

But now I realize that it goes even deeper than that.

* * * * *

Milwaukee-bound

Before our trip, I had contacted a friend from Milwaukee that Bill and I had gotten to know on occasion; someone we always thought would be fun to get to know better. In hopes that we might be able to hook up, I texted him after we landed at the airport to say we had arrived and we would be going to the State Fair later that afternoon to see a concert. His message back to me was: “I live three blocks from the Fair. Park in my driveway and I’ll drop you off at the front gate.”

Really? This guy was willing to drop whatever he was doing and go the extra mile to help make our visit to Milwaukee a hit? My first thought was, “Oh no, don’t worry about that; we’ll be okay.” But I took a breath, let in his offer, and told him we’d be delighted.

Receiving Exercise #1. Thank you, Dave.

When we got downtown and pulled up to the bargain mystery hotel we booked online, we were shocked. Instantly treated like royalty, this beautiful, fancy, and luxurious historic hotel had us hooked. After we checked in at the front desk, the bellman came over and said, “May I help you to your room?”

My knee-jerk reaction would have normally been: “No thanks, we’re good.” But I looked up at the elderly gentleman with white gloves, took a breath and said, “Sure, I’d love that, John” and handed him my overnight bag.

Receiving Exercise #2. Thank you, John.

Our white-haired bellman proudly showed us to our room and explained that this hotel is where all the Presidents stay when they’re in town. The woman at the desk had so graciously told the man, “Take them to my favorite room!” So we were whisked away to a beautiful corner room with big windows on two sides, allowing the sun to shine brightly onto the plush king-sized bed.

Thank you.

Bill and I were excited when we got to the Fair that afternoon. A friend in the band we had come to see said he’d have tickets waiting for us at will call. When I approached the ticket office, not only was I on the band guest list, but inside the envelope were two VIP backstage passes that granted us access to come and go as we please.

Really…for me? I was overjoyed!

While I was super excited to hang out backstage, I was mostly touched by the generosity and gesture of our friend going the extra mile to make our evening an over-the-top experience. Sincere friendship with a kindred spirit rocks. Our multitude of hugs and “I love you’s” after the show made my heart soar.

Receiving Exercise #3. Thank you, Kenny.

This gesture reminded me of why I’m always moved to tears the moment Bill and I step onto a cruise ship for a week’s vacation. That’s when you first make your entrance into the glorious multi-level atrium with beautiful ornate art and elegant detail; that vision serves as a reminder to me that I am going to be totally pampered and taken care of for the upcoming week. A time completely focused on receiving. It’s not unlike wearing a special badge that says “VIP”; I know I am going to be taken care of. And it feels good.

The show

Just a few days prior, a friend told me her idea about “Pennies from Heaven” and how that’s her sign that a loved one who has passed is thinking of her. After our meeting, I said: “Watch, I bet I’ll find a penny soon that is meant just for me!”

And when Bill and I made our way to our concert seats, the first thing I noticed was a penny in the aisle just next to my assigned seat #1. This was my confirmation, my affirmation, my thumbs-up…that all is good, all is well. And my nod from above to keep having fun and enjoying life, embracing the things that make me come alive and bring me joy. I smiled as I picked up the penny and proudly put it in my pocket.

Receiving Exercise #4. Thank you.

The concert rocked, the clear and sultry summer night gave way to a purple sky and stars, and the crowd of several thousand was united in the celebration of life and of good times. Bill and I danced our hearts out and cheered with the concert-goers around us. Time stood still in those glorious moments as I breathed deeply and allowed myself to receive the goodness of all that surrounded me.

Receiving Exercise #5. Thank you, Mother Nature; Thank you, Steve Miller Band.

When the concert was over, my Milwaukee friend insisted we call him for pick up. Within minutes, he was at the exit gate ready for us and drove us back to our car, parked at his house. Our ‘thank-yous’ and ‘good-nights’ with him and his wife included tight bear hugs and a knowing that we would all be in each others’ lives again soon.

A pensive plane ride home

As the plane took off today for the journey home, we were reminded by the flight attendant that in the event of cabin pressure loss to “secure your own oxygen mask first before assisting others.”

This is the essence of receiving.

We have to—yes, we must—fill our own tanks first before being of any service to others.

This jaunt to Milwaukee taught me volumes about the importance of—and the joy of—“receiving.” Special thanks to my several teachers and angels along the way for orchestrating everything so perfectly.

My learning around receiving this week has reminded me that I am important, I matter, and I’ve got to keep shining my light brightly. And now because my tank is overflowing, I can so much more easily and effortlessly give to others. I’ve got an abundance of reserves!

In working with clients these last several years, a common theme that comes up—especially for women—is the struggle with receiving. And I see all kinds of guilt, discomfort, and uneasiness around it.

Listen up: Receiving is a good thing. Not only does it feel good, but it’s our one and only way to be able to give back to the world in all kinds of meaningful ways. In fact, when someone gives you a gift or does something nice for you…the best thing you can do is to simply receive it gracefully and graciously–which is actually like giving a gift right back to them! 

Try it. You just might like it.

How will you open up and let your heart receive today? Love for you to share your thoughts below!

For example, you might wear a certain mask when you’re with family—not letting them know how you really prefer to raise your children. Or you might wear a mask with friends for fear of them learning how overwhelmed you really are with life. And the one I deal with most often—the mask you wear in the workplace. This one allows you to play the game, live up to (perceived) expectations, and most importantly—not let anyone see who you really are.

In my coaching, the masks that clients talk about are pretty big and definitely get in their way of fully being who they are.

Posing as someone else takes work

It takes a lot of energy to wear a mask; to be someone you’re not. One of my clients felt compelled to put on her mask every time she walked through the door of her large organization. She revealed to me that she worked hard every day to keep the mask on and keep co-workers at a distance due to her deep fear of being “found out.” Found out that she wasn’t as great of a mother as everyone thought she was, found out that she didn’t feel as confident as people thought, found out that she struggled with food addictions, and so on.

My heart aches when I hear this. Because each person is always doing the very best they can. And if you think they’re not, think again. My client is doing her absolute best in each moment. That, in itself, makes the world sing. We’re all doing our best and have so much to offer by being ourselves.

We put these masks on to show that we’re stronger, more confident, a better parent, smarter employee, more “together,” etc. We fear that we’re not ‘enough’ as we are; that we are lacking something. But in reality, we are all amazing…if we only let ourselves shine and not pretend to be something else.

Being all of who you are

It’s okay. Be precisely who you are. In fact, when you’re not being “you,” you shortchange the world.

Unsure how to articulate who you are? Then please take some time to read this post because it’s imperative that you begin the journey to get clear on this one.

We’re all human. So, first before our roles/titles/jobs, etc., we are people. We all have lights to shine. What if we could go to work every day and live in the world around us, being all of who we are…without apology? Wouldn’t we all be more relaxed and under less pressure to “perform”?

Take some time now to ponder these questions:

–What are the various masks you wear and what purpose do they serve?

–Where are you not being yourself?

–How could being ‘who you are’ bring you greater joy?

The key to following your joy is being who you are.

 

Have you ever seen Magen’s Bay in St. Thomas? What a fabulous place to leave behind any stresses, any “should’s,” any worries; and breathe in…life.

Similar to how a dog feels safe in his cozy kennel, as a beach bum I felt totally “safe” here on Magen’s Bay, too. The beach is surrounded by a cove; a magnificent three-sided wall of lush tropical green. There’s something about it that felt so comforting, and I was amazed by the acoustics—while there were hundreds of people having a good time on the beach, I noticed that we lowered our voices when we spoke, as if we were in a sacred space like a church or place of worship.

I was moved to take the above shot of a carefree grandma resting with her grandchild under the sun. Seeing the peace that enveloped these two reminded me of how easy it is to be “on-the-go” or to be busy “gettin’ stuff done.” It’s certainly not as easy to tap into the joy of life amidst that busy-ness.

On the contrary, joy is wonderfully experienced when we slow down, take a deep breath, and relax into being.

You may have heard the notion that we’re human beings, not human doings. Clever, huh? But oh so true.

How are YOU doin’?

Where do you see yourself getting caught up in the rat-race? And how does it affect your family or those around you? One of my clients told me recently that when she comes home stressed-out and overwhelmed from the work day and is frantically trying to get things done around the house, it impacts her kids big-time. And they take-on that type of frenzied energy from her.

As a culture, we’ve become famous for staying busy, active, and involved 24/7, moving us away from the quiet and the peace where wellness—and joy—reside.

Remember that around us ‘life happens.’ And there will always be all kinds of things going on in our world that we can’t control. What we can control, though, is how we react and how we choose to “be” despite everything else. While we might not necessarily be chilling on the beach, we certainly have the power within us to act as if we’re on the beach, regardless of the circumstance.

This anonymous quote posted in my husband’s office sums it up beautifully: “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”

Often, the joy in life is quietly disguised in the stillness. Where will you pause today, take a deep breath, and relax into being? For some additional insight, check out this story or this lesson to help get yourself in the mood. :)

Following your joy. It’s important to know what it is, specifically, that brings you joy…and then make sure to get more that in your life.

I’d also like to add another point of view–it was John Lennon who said: “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” So true. We can spend so much time and energy meticulously planning and plotting out our days and our lives. And at the same time, we’ve got to be open to whatever might come our way. It may even be something that we’ve never dreamed of!

You really don’t want to miss those amazing little miracles that show up right in front of your eyes, especially when you’re somewhere else trying to plan for them or “make” them happen. You gotta be ready to catch them when they appear.

I’m really good at making a plan. In fact, I’d like to say that I excel at it. I’m learning, though, that there’s more—so much more—to life than “the plan.” And what I continuously remind myself of is to stay in the moment and go with the flow…where the good stuff is, regardless of the plan.

When things are easy and “flow”

One of my reminders came in a wonderful form today. My dad called to see if Bill and I wanted to join him out on his boat. We happened to be free, the weather was looking good, and all signs were a-go. Might not sound like a big deal, but between the three of us, we have a tough time matching schedules and timing; in fact it’s been a few years since the three of us hung out on the boat together.

Then on a fluke (or not), my mom called my dad this morning to say hi. Again, may not sound like a big deal, but my parents have been divorced for as long as I can remember, and most of those years were…well, let’s just say that they weren’t the best of friends.

So the stars aligned this morning and all parties were in a good mood, and my mom was invited to join us on the boat. Pretty cool for me! None of it was really “planned”; it was all just spur-of-the moment happenings.

It made me think about time and how precious the little things are. It’s easy for me to get lost in the things that “need to get done” at home, but I’m glad on this morning that I let those things go.

The joy of the moment

My dad picked us all up at a public dock, and after boarding the boat, we found a calm bay, turned the motor off, and let the boat float and take us wherever life intended for us to go. On this lovely sunny Sunday morning, the lake was quiet and the peacefulness enveloped us. We talked and laughed and reminisced, and then the joy for me exploded when Bill perceptively picked up on something very poignant and special about this unique moment. He turned to me and asked, “How does it feel to have your three biggest fans right here?”

Wow, I guess I hadn’t thought about it like that. But in that moment of quiet calm out on a lake of glass, I was reminded of how blessed I was. Right there in that boat, the two people who were responsible for giving me life, and the man who has become my best friend and life partner…all there floating along with me through life. What more could I ask for? Sometimes you just need reminders of those simple things in life to carry you.

I recently heard Michael J. Fox interviewed, and he said that each moment will never “be” again. There are no do-overs. To me, that meant to embrace and capture each moment, and relish it and honor it, as best you can.

So when you’re following your joy, yes—it’s certainly important to do some planning and know what fuels you and makes you come alive. And at the same time, it’s just as important to simply live your life, go with the flow, and pay attention to the little miracles that come your way.

After all, that “joy” just might be right there in the boat with you.

Often we learn best when we see ourselves reflected in the eyes of another. It might be through a family member, a best friend, or even through a miracle in nature. And so, a few summers ago I had the privilege of hosting a very special guest in our home to teach me a few things about life: a monarch chrysalis.

Previously, my dad watched this creation from the very beginning as a tiny pin-prick of an egg on a milkweed plant in his garden. From there, a tiny caterpillar hatched, grew into a big caterpillar, and then created a special cocoon for itself where the magic began to weave.

Upon my dad’s urging, Bill and I stopped over and picked up this beautiful chrysalis, hanging from a branch, and took it home to nurture until it was ready to leave. Our new houseguest was a brilliant green cocoon with perfectly arranged dots of gold decoration. This was our first experience with a chrysalis and we weren’t quite sure what to expect. So we watched. And we waited. We heard that, apparently, a large butterfly was supposed to come out of that small green chrysalis!

You probably know how the story goes—a week later, a monarch butterfly emerged and flew away. In the final days and hours before this monumentous event, though, my new learning about myself and about life took place.

This is what the butterfly’s journey taught me about following my joy:

Everything in life is a process that cannot be rushed.

First the cocoon hanging on the branch was an opaque emerald green. Within a few days it became more transparent and we could see the faint outline of a butterfly inside. And during the last hours, the cocoon skin was fully see-through and we could start to see the orange and black stripes folded up neatly inside!

What was taking it so long? We wanted it to come out now, especially before Bill left for the day so he that could see it emerge, too. Everything in life is a process that cannot be rushed. The butterfly knew this. It needed to take its own time to be ready…and not emerge one moment before. Many of us tend to like immediate gratification in our lives—we want things to happen when we want them to happen. Not so, teaches the butterfly. Slow down, be still, and be patient. When the time is right, magnificent things will happen.

Trust the process of life; we don’t need all the answers.

What’s the butterfly doing now? Why won’t it come out? How does it fit in there? Where do the gold dots come from? Why is it waiting so long? Were we ever filled with questions! And we wanted to know all the answers.

Did it really matter anyway?

What if we just trusted that everything was happening exactly as it was meant to unfold? Maybe that “trust” would have allowed us to back off and take a deep breath and focus our energy on simply letting the butterfly “be.” What if we reveled in the mystery and beauty of it all, instead of worrying about the details? Trust the process of life; we don’t have to have all the answers. As we know in nature, the sun will always rise and the sun will always set. When we let go of the details, we are free to experience the true beauty in life.

When you are ready: BE BOLD AND GO!

And so the long-awaited birth came one morning. The chrysalis on the branch wavered a bit and then the folded-up butterfly inside slowly and neatly broke through the bottom of its casing…and emerged! At that moment I recognized this creature as the familiar beautiful monarch I have known since childhood. I was afraid that it would take off before I could grab a picture! But this miraculous insect took its sweet time getting comfortable being out in the elements, learning to flap its wings, and essentially catching its bearings to this new lifestyle.

I watched in awe as the butterfly pumped fluid through its wings and proudly showed off its wing span—it seemed to grow right in front of my eyes! In life, it’s easy to shrink back and not shine in all our glory. The butterfly reminded me of the importance to show life what you’ve got! Illuminate your gifts and talents. Be bold and claim your place in the world.

This beautiful being seemed pretty comfortable just hanging around a while. As humans, we often try to rush life and check things off our “list” as quickly as we can. But what if we took a moment to breathe, get comfortable, and then plunge in? I bet we would be more effective. But you know what? After some time, when the butterfly was ready, it took off.

Through the trees and straight for the bright blue sky. It allowed itself to take the necessary time to prepare, and when it was ready…look out! When you are ready: BE BOLD AND GO! The butterfly certainly didn’t get too attached to its old way of doing things or to the branch that it called home for the past week. When we let go of our old “stuff,” we become ready to boldly stretch our wings and soar to new heights.

That day, I said a thank-you prayer to my new co-habitant on our planet earth for allowing me to see myself reflected in all its glory; to witness the natural process of being and letting joy in. I will not forget its lessons. And later that day as I sat down at my favorite local restaurant patio for lunch, a monarch butterfly soared majestically right over my head.

Note: For another great story about finding lessons in nature, read about our magical experience with dolphins.