Needless to say, after I published the post, I had the song “Who Are You” (by The Who) in my head for the remainder of the day…and week.

Then it got me to thinking that I should probably share with you what it reminded me of next.

Bill and I are both huge fans of The Who. It started a few years ago when we first saw the band live, and from the moment the rockers hit the stage—we were hooked. Since then, we’ve lived it up and seen nine shows in six states, always up close if not in the front row; we’ve hung out with the crew and made it backstage—I’d say that classifies us as official Wholigans!

A couple years ago the band had a contest where you could win an all-expenses paid trip to their show in Finland. All you had to do was create a visual representation of your answer to the question “Who are you?”

“Easy,” we thought, so Bill and I got to work. And here are each of our three entries. Enjoy!

*  *  *  *  *

*  *  *  *  *

Not bad, huh?! We didn’t make it to Finland, and of course we were disappointed. But obviously it was not meant to be. That’s okay, though, we still look back at the joy we experienced crafting our entries and reflecting on our answers. I think we put in a pretty good effort, don’t you?! :)

It was a fun process to put words and pictures around “who” we are. Care to give this exercise a shot, yourself? If so, send it to us by July 16 and we’ll add your art to a post dedicated to you—our readers!

Rock on!

I mean it, really. Pause here and think about what your answer would be…

Got it?

I routinely find my clients defining who they are based on what they do. When we’re coaching and I ask the million-dollar question, most often the answer is something like: “I’m a mom, a wife, a manager…” And I come back with, “Great, that’s what you do, but who are you…really?”

You are not your job. You are not what you do. Those are only pieces of the big-picture.

I know, I know–it can be a tough question to answer!

Trust me, I’ve been there. When Bill and I embarked on our professional coaching training over seven years ago, I’ll never forget our first class. There were about 20 of us, and our assignment was to get up out of our chairs and mingle with the other students in the room, asking each other: “Who are you?” And we were not allowed to talk about our jobs or professional roles.

Wanting to bail

This assignment made all of us want to run out of the room (as did much of our subsequent coaching training!). When my first partner asked me “Who are you?”, I nervously giggled and said, “Ummm, I DON’T KNOW!” Ha! Today I would argue that yes, I did know who I was (just the way everyone else knows who they are at their core), but back then I simply didn’t have the tools or the language to verbalize it, much less assert it confidently.

Similarly, when my clients struggle with this same question, I get it. And I feel their pain. Life is set-up so that it’s easy to get caught up in the busyness, and in the jobs we do and the myriad of roles we play. So it’s no wonder that we’re not sure how to answer the question.

The problem, though, is that if we don’t know who we are, it’s impossible to know what we want.

Therein lies the dilemma of how we’ve gotten trapped in a cycle of continuing to do what we’re doing because it’s comfortable and it’s what we know. The predicament is that the life we’ve created isn’t necessarily the one we want. But hey—it works, right? That is, if you’re willing to settle.

One of my favorite quotes is by Shakespeare: “Know thyself and to thine own self be true.”

The only way to be true to ourselves is to know who we are.

We actually start out knowing

Back in the beginning, we’re born into the world knowing who we are and what we want. In our purity as infants and young children, those answers are crystal clear. But along the way, that “knowing” has gotten covered up by messages we received growing up, beliefs we’ve taken on as true, things we feel we “should” be doing, patterns we’ve created along the way, etc.

The result is that the answers are often buried pretty deeply.

My job, as a Coach, is to help clear away the clutter and the junk that’s gotten in the way of that innate “knowing.” One of the cool exercises I lead clients through is called a “Life Purpose Statement” session. The end in mind is for clients to gain greater clarity on who they are at the core; who they’ve always been; who they’re meant to be. Through visualization exercises, a defining ‘statement’ begins to unfold, pointing toward their true north. What a powerful process to witness in my clients! And it’s incredibly freeing. I know, because my Coach led me through that exercise way back, too.

I never ask my clients or readers a question I’m not willing to answer myself. So who am I? The way I answer depends on the day and there are many different facets to my explanation. But today I’m going with this: I’m a lover of life in awe of the world around me. Here’s that core of me being “on purpose” and shining my light:

So. Who are YOU?

If you need a little help reflecting first, one good way of beginning to define who you are is to become clear on what brings you joy (and then, of course, honor and embrace those things, making them a priority). You might want to check out these posts that can help you further tap into what you love:

What Are Your ‘Life Moments’?
What Makes You Come Alive?
Two Fundamental Questions
What Are You Passionate About?

Brave enough to write your answer in the comments section below? Tell the world who you are! I can’t wait to meet you.

For those of you who’d like a little more focused attention on helping you claim back the clarity, the passion, and the momentum so you can finally start to make a change, let me know cuz that’s what I do at LifeShine!

Blessings to all of you on your journey.

P.S. For a great “part two” to this post, go here!

Have you seen The Bucket List? I know that everything crosses my path exactly when it’s supposed to. Bill and I had seen the movie a couple years ago, and it magically ‘showed up’ again last night. So with pizza on our TV trays, we headed downstairs to relax on our puffy brown leather couch and let the movie sweep us away and inspire us.

Briefly, the movie follows two terminally ill men (Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman) on their around-the-world adventure with a wish list of things to do before they “kick the bucket.”

If you haven’t seen the movie, see it! And if you have seen it, see it again. It’s a movie that will take you out of the ‘details’ of your life—and whatever drama you may have created—and connect you with what’s most important to you and what matters.

I was incredibly touched by a part in the movie when the two are sitting in wonder, gazing at the Pyramids in Egypt. Morgan Freeman’s character talks about the ancient Egyptians and their belief about death. He goes on to explain the belief by saying that when Egyptian souls got to the entrance to heaven, the gods asked them two questions. Their answers determined whether or not they were admitted to heaven.

The two questions:

–Have you found joy in life?

–Has your life brought joy to others?

As you, my readers, know, this blog is about the importance of following the things in life that bring you joy…and spreading that light to others. I love the simplicity of these two questions, which gets at the primal essence of why we’re here on earth.

So I’m going to keep this short and sweet by saying:

1) Watch The Bucket List
2) Ponder those two important questions
3) Get started now on your bucket list; your life is waiting for you!

Thoughts? I’d love to hear from you…

Have you ever been to Sedona, Arizona? After my first visit there, I vote that it’s one of the most beautiful places on earth. Bill and I recently returned from a long weekend there with my cousins, our dear friends.

Before the trip, the four of us shared our intentions for vacation with each other. They mostly included exploring and adventuring, hanging together, laughing (which is always a given with us), freedom from schedules, and just “being.”

Sedona is known as one of the world’s spiritual centers—complete with healing retreats, alternative therapies, and metaphysical influences. Even knowing all that, the four of us still unanimously voted that our first stop after we landed in Phoenix would be—not a mud bath or a massage—but lunch at In-N-Out Burger! If you’ve had one of their burgers, you know what I’m talkin’ about! Bill mapped it all out ahead of time and found the perfect spot for our lunch that was between the airport and Sedona. We don’t have the luxury of In-N-Out in Minnesota; it’s all about priorities!

One of the things about Sedona that intrigued us was the four main vortex sites. Their Chamber of Commerce website describes these vortex areas as “enhanced energy locations that facilitate prayer, meditation, mind/body healing, and exploring your relationship with your Soul and the divine.” The website goes on to say that each person will experience a vortex differently, and possible reactions include: new insights, intense feelings of joy or release, sense of well-being, a physical healing, and new or heightened spiritual awareness. Pretty cool!

So we had to check it out.

A vortex experience

The most powerful experience for me was the morning we visited the Cathedral Rock vortex, which ran alongside the magnificent red rocks and the Oak Creek River. We drove to the area, and the four of us hiked in the morning sun to make our way to the powerful spiritual spot highlighted in our brochure.

As with each vortex we had experienced before, the closer you get, you begin to see a myriad of hand-made miniature rock towers built by tourists who had traveled the path before.

Building these structures is a way to focus on the present and calmly breathe in the now. I was struck by how the farther and farther we hiked, the more of these towers were along our path.

So each of us in the group quietly built our own unique tower.

Then, the coolest thing happened. The four of us—who love spending every moment together and love to laugh at our million-and-one inside jokes–magically went our own way…without saying a word. We each split up as though we were called to a certain individual spot to just “be” by ourselves.

As I walked toward the spot meant for me, I stopped in my tracks—in awe—at the sheer volume of hand-made structures which confidently stood in front of me, behind me, and all around me. There were hundreds, then thousands, of miniature shrines made out of rocks, each reflecting the individuality of their builder. Here, each person could made their presence known; leaving their mark on the earth saying: “I was here.”

It left me speechless. A calm and peaceful joy came over me.

How on earth did all these fragile towers stay standing, I wondered? Surely, I thought—rain or wind or even a kid running through might knock them all down.

But that didn’t happen here.

The scene reminded me of a visiting a vast military cemetery—where as far as your eyes can see, there are rows and rows of tombstones. Each tombstone represents a life. A life of stories, experiences, challenges, dreams, loves, valor, and humility. And similar to the rock temples, each tombstone whispers: “I was here.”

Poignant reflection

This moment amongst the statues was particularly poignant for me. Less than an hour prior, I had received an urgent phone call in our room from my mom. She told me the terribly sad news that a young woman back home who used to be a part of our family…had shot and killed herself.

Alone with my thoughts in this spot, all kinds of feelings and images ran through my head as I stood there. Shock. Tragedy. Violence. Sadness. Grief. Pain. Confusion.

There are no coincidences that I learned of this tragedy just as we were leaving for a spiritual hike…and then on our way to the granddaddy of them all: The Grand Canyon.

So these moments to myself became priceless. I stood on the edge of the river and listened to the sounds of “life” in the clear water, roaring through the river.

On the river’s edge, I noticed how each rock sculpture was individual and unique…yet part of a whole. None of us could exist without each other, without our community.

I thought about how my friend who was no longer here on earth with us had previously separated herself from her larger community. I said a prayer for her.

I stood there, taken aback, for a long time. I don’t know how long, but I know it was long enough for the morning sun to scorch my face and give me a give me a great farmer’s tan with my short-sleeved t-shirt.

Then coming out of my meditation and back to our surroundings, I took several deep breaths and cleared the tears from behind my sunglasses. I stretched to bring myself back into my body and then slowly turned my head to scan the area.

I smiled when I saw my cousin upstream from me, alone, staring at the river.

I knew that he, too, was in his own space, and seeing him reminded me of the rock towers all around us—whatever he was experiencing or thinking about might have been light years away from what I was experiencing, but we were a part of a ‘whole’ there in that spiritual area together.

I became ready and eager to leave my little place and connect with my beloved travel partners.

“We were here”

Magically, the four of us convened in the middle of the area at about the same time, ready to move on. First, without saying anything again, each couple took a little side trip off the path. From there, Bill and I knelt down and built our own rock tower together, taking turns stacking the rocks, one by one. Even though we had previously assembled our own individual towers, we wanted to build one together which said: “We were here.”

And simultaneously, my cousin left his mark of his love for his wife in one of the big red rocks as his way of saying “We were here.”

Pretty cool. We were then all ready to finish the hike back along the river to our car. Next up: The Grand Canyon. In the long car ride taking us north, I was very quiet as I processed life, death, community, the present, and the significant mark we each make in our own little world.

And right there in the back of our van, I quietly gave thanks for my life and all its beauty, full of people I love and a universe that fully supports every move I make. What a true gift.

Author’s Note: Vacations and retreats can be a great way to take a break from responsibility and connect with the present and what’s important to you, reflecting on the bigger picture of life. Here’s another article you might like: Vacation: The Perfect Prescription.

There have been so many instances in my life when I recognize the sheer magnitude of my insignificance here on earth.

One reminder was last winter when I stood on the balcony of our cruise ship just after midnight, looking out at the expanse of darkness that went on forever and ever…and ever, with a blanket of stars illuminating the ocean whitecaps. Bill fell asleep inside the cabin while I stayed out on our private deck as long as I could keep my eyes open. I was simply mesmerized by the beauty and the vastness, contrasted with my little life that felt so small as our mammoth cruise ship bobbed along in the middle of the enormous sea.

That is the type of experience that immerses me into the bigger picture of life, pondering the ultimate question of why we are here. I don’t know that there is necessarily any magical or earth-shattering answer, but I do believe that it has something to do with being our best (which includes following your joy) and loving others.

The exact opposite of that feeling of insignificance happened on Labor Day, a couple years ago. It was a beautiful sunny holiday and all was quiet in our neighborhood. Bill and I were lounging inside on the couches with the windows open, talking about our lives and what we wanted from the upcoming year.

Our conversation was horrifyingly and abruptly invaded by an intense screech of brakes on the busy street just outside our front door, followed by a crash that shattered our hearts.

Racing to action

All in one motion, I looked out the window, called 911, and rushed out the door. What I saw in front of me was an image that my brain raced to comprehend as it was something I had never seen before. A young couple on a motorcycle had smashed into an extended cab pickup truck, and there were two bodies lying motionless on opposite sides of the street.

My first instinct was “Stay away from the scene. You’ll be in the way. Someone else will know what to do and will help.”

But no one was there. No neighbors. No bystanders. No help.

So my second instinct kicked in and I ran to the young woman lying in the street while Bill ran to the young man. I sat in the middle of the road next to her, picked up her hand and held it and massaged it. I repeated over and over to her that everything was going to be okay. I didn’t know if she could hear me, or if she was even alive. I just knew that it was important to “be” with her.

Thank goodness they were wearing helmets. As I held her limp hand in mine, I noticed that her nails were perfectly polished and she was wearing a cute summery outfit. Her trendy purse was still strapped across her chest as her cheek was pressed into the hot blacktop.

My mind imagined a story of this young woman and her guy-friend out together enjoying a day-off; a ceremonial end to summer before the regimen of fall drew near.

I had so much trouble making sense out of what I saw as I sat there on top of the scalding asphalt. The sun beat down on us and Bill began directing traffic. The traffic flow included several motorcycles racing by; all riders without helmets. Ah, the irony…

The paramedics arrive

The sounds of the sirens off in the distance began to get louder, and when the paramedics pulled up, they took over. Bill and I got up to sit on the curb and wait it all out. We don’t know what ever happened to the kids, and the hospitals weren’t allowed to give us any follow-up information, even in response to my sleepless-middle-of-the-night phone call plea. That piece of it was out of our control, and all we could do was offer up a prayer and then let it go.

But what I did learn that day is a lesson I will never forget.

Occasionally I feel like I don’t want to bother others or ‘get in the way,’ so I stand back. I saw that tendency in me show up full-force in this crisis situation.

What I learned on that day is that I am incredibly important, and I have a job to do. Bill and I were supposed to be home right in front of the window at that moment, so that we could simply “be” with the young couple in crisis right outside of our front door.

Amazingly, this event came just on the heels of another adrenaline-filled experience only weeks before as we rescued an elderly couple whose canoe had capsized on a lake in the Boundary Waters. No one else was around. No one else heard their cries for help. No one else was there to get them to safety.

Your significance, my significance

These experiences are reminders to me that each and every one of us has a special role in this place we call “life.” We’re all here together and our lives are all amazingly intertwined. We need one another. So if you ever wonder why you are where you are in life, know that somehow, somewhere…there’s a reason behind it all.

You are incredibly important, and you have a job to do.

Again, it has something to do with being your best, following your joy, and loving others. Our lives can get tangled up with a lot of details and “things,” but when it comes down to it, at a fundamental level it’s a pretty simple recipe for living: Be your best self. Live life and follow your joy. Love others.

Here’s a quote by Marianne Williamson that speaks to me every time I need it:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory that is within us. And as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The world needs you in ways that you can’t even imagine…