When was the last time you experienced great customer service at a restaurant? Or the last time a service professional went over the top to help you out? How about the time someone did something really nice for you, just to make your life a little easier?

Most importantly, though: When was the last time you told someone how much you appreciated their extra special service or their over-the-top help?

Joy is like a boomerang

Within 24 hours I was reminded that the key to joy in your own life is to share joy with others. It’s a cycle: Dish it out, it comes back to you. Like the Law of Attraction states—put good energy out there and watch it come back like a boomerang.

Bill and I have a favorite deli near our house. And every time we visit, we’re greeted by a super sweet manager, Melissa, whose goal it seems is to give us the best lunch experience we can have. She lights up when we come in, goes out of her way to make us feel welcomed, and she has become one of the reasons we love being customers.

So I found the company website online and sent the owner a note of feedback about our experience at the deli and how much Melissa enhances our lunchtime visits.

Checked that one off my mental ‘to-do’ list. It felt good to do.

Along those same lines, I was recently visiting Bill’s dad in the hospital (you may have read about his story earlier; he’s home now and doing great!). I had some concerns the day I was there and requested to talk with a nurse, privately, outside of his room.

The nurse who met me in the hallway blew me away! She went out of her way to explain, in layman’s terms, the details of my father-in-law’s condition that day. She patiently and compassionately enlightened me so that I became more informed and less uneasy. She gave me plenty of space to ask additional questions, and I couldn’t have been more grateful. After all, this is someone’s life we’re talking about!

Later at home that day, I sent a note of feedback through the hospital website, in hopes that just the right person would hear about how wonderful this nurse treated me.

Checked that one off, too. Again, it felt good to do.

How it came back to me

The next day, two things happened. The first was that I received a personal email from the CEO of the hospital who thanked me for my feedback. He added that he’ll “be sure to recognize the nurse for her excellent compassionate caregiving of your father-in-law.” Fantastic! Just knowing that she would be recognized by her CEO brought me such joy.

The second thing that day was that I went to my favorite deli for lunch (okay, I think I’m addicted to their salads). And when I walked in, I felt like a celebrity. Melissa ran right over to me and hugged me and said, “Come with me!”

She brought me into the back room where a printed-out version of my email was hanging on the wall…with the supervisor’s words in black marker plastered at the top of the page saying “GREAT JOB!” She exclaimed to her co-workers as she pointed at me: “She’s the one who sent the email!” I was a little embarrassed with all the attention, but it was all worth what happened next.

After another hug, Melissa said quietly with such depth in her eyes: “You don’t know this, but you made my day.”

And what she doesn’t know is that by seeing and feeling her joy…she made my day.

The cycle of joy

The cycle of joy is a precious one. The more you give, the more you get. Want more joy in your life? Spread joy to others. It’s a sure-fire way to live a good life. It may not come back instantly, but it will always—in some shape or form—come back to you.

In closing, this reminds me of a childhood story that Bill told me a while back. He once found a four-leaf clover in his grandma’s yard when he was around seven. He gave it to her, and didn’t think about it again. 35 years later and shortly after his sweet grandmother died last year, Bill’s mom gave him something she found in Granny’s wallet. It was young Bill’s four-leaf clover from all those years ago, laminated with love…and now coming back to him.

Joy is certainly a boomerang. As Ralph Waldo Emerson stated wisely and succinctly: “Scatter joy.” How will you do that today?

Here’s another post you might like: You, Too, Can Make Someone’s Day

My quiet and leisurely drive quickly changed as I was suddenly faced with a “Road Construction Next Two Miles” sign. It became bumpy and noisy and dusty…certainly not conducive to the peaceful drive I was planning on. But that was okay. The summer sun was smiling down on me, and I was grateful to be self-employed with a flexible schedule and wearing shorts and a concert t-shirt to my meeting.

The small line of cars on the road came to a halt, as a worker stepped onto the road and held up a sign, motioning for all of us to slow down. The part of the two-sided sign that said “SLOW” was facing our direction. A few cars made it past her, and then when it came to me, the worker held up her hand and swiveled the sign around so that “STOP” was the instruction meant for me.

Noticing their efforts

So I stopped at the point where she directed me and was observing all the workers doing their jobs. There was so much going on! They were exerting so much effort in the intense heat to make the roads nicer for everyone. They were using their muscles, sweating, and obviously working hard.

“They‘re doing this for me,” I thought. Occasionally in the past, I had been guilty of seeing the road construction work as an inconvenience or as an obstacle in getting me to my destination on-time.

The woman with the tall hand-held sign was stationed in the middle of the road, right next to my car on the driver’s side. She had a long ponytail and a weathered face; you could tell that she had already endured a lot of sun this season. She was draped in the usual bright yellow vest to indicate that she was a part of the crew. I rolled down my window (which I had previously closed to keep out the dust cloud) and felt compelled to make a connection with her.

The gift

With my elbow resting on the open window frame, I leaned my head out and said “I sure appreciate the important work you do.”

You would have thought that I gave her a gift wrapped in gold. The woman’s stoic, emotionless face—exhausted from a day’s work—completely lit up. Every sun drenched wrinkle came to life as she smiled from ear to ear, showing all her teeth.

It was in her face that I realized the impact we each have in helping others feel and experience joy.

“Ma’am, I’ve been a flagger for 24 years and no one has ever told me they appreciated my work.” She continued, “The only thing I hear from people is that I’m in their way, or they’re late, or the road is a mess. And they holler at me, too. I’m just trying to do my job, ya know.”

I smiled and told her that I knew she was there to make life better for me and for the rest of us. I wanted her to feel heard and acknowledged. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in as she smiled, as if to soak in all the glory of feeling appreciated.

Our brief interaction was over just as it was time for her to turn her sign back around to the “SLOW” side. This was my cue to move along. As I drove off, she said, “You have yourself a wonderful day now.” And you know what? I did.

It’s pretty cool to think about how just a few words or a gesture or a smile just might make someone’s day. Including your own.

Whose day will you make today?

You might also like: A Sure-Fire Way To Increase Your Joy.

Recently a client taught me about the importance of supporting others in following their joy. It’s such a simple concept, but I don’t know that I fully understood it…until now.

Family tension

On a recent session, this client was discussing an upcoming family visit to see her mother-in-law who lived out of town. You could tell on the phone that she was uptight and anxious about this visit and all that it entailed. The dread in her voice spoke volumes.

Once we dug underneath the surface, it became clear that what my client was bothered about most of all were the “details.” Her mother-in-law kept calling her with questions in preparation for the visit with things like: “What type of food will the kids want?,” “Which museums should we visit?,” “When is bedtime for the kids?,” “What size shoes do they wear now?,” etc. This was bugging my client at a core-level, as she just wanted the visit to be stress-free and without all the questions and fanfare.

But as we talked more, together my client and I uncovered that it was “the details” that gave this mother-in-law her joy. She loved buying gifts for the kids, she loved preparing just the right meals that everyone would enjoy; she loved the idea of creating a perfect week for her children and grandchildren whom she loved so much.

So with an “a-ha!” moment that literally leaped from the phone, my client said, “Wait! When I’m bothered by these questions and avoid her phone calls, I am not allowing my children’s grandma to follow her joy!” She came to her own conclusion and realized that all these years she had been more of a hinderance in her mother-in-law’s path toward joy.

Going along for the ride

When I asked what she’d like to do about this, she enthusiastically exclaimed: “I want to go along for the ride rather than be a roadblock!”

Wow. I couldn’t have said it better myself. So my client welcomed each future phone call from her mother-in-law, knowing that all those “details” were simply representative of a woman following her joy.

The following week, my client even mentioned to me that she’d play into the conversation, too, by saying things on the phone call like, “Jimmy loves when you have his favorite popsicles in the freezer, so it would be great if you could have those on-hand as well.” The mother-in-law couldn’t have been more delighted to be of service in this area, and it was my client who was helping her embrace that joyful feeling.

The family visit turned out to be very enjoyable and stress-free. There is such wisdom in letting others be who they are and ride the wave with them.

I know what it means to follow my joy, and I know I can do a better job at making sure I’m fully supporting others in following their joy. Again, it’s a pretty simple concept, but one that can be easy to lose sight of, especially when we’re all coming from a different perspective in life.

Takeaway

When you’re interacting with the people you love, take a moment to think about what it is that brings them joy (if you know them even a little bit, you’ll be able to pick up on the clues). And then make sure you are supporting and rallying them on their journey; “going along for the ride,” rather than being a roadblock. To that other person, it will be a subtle gift (that they may not even be able to put their finger on) that will make them feel good, heard, valued, and uplifted. The world needs more of that!

Special thanks to my wonderful clients who are willing to do the work it takes to live a great life! They routinely teach me about humility and grace, as well as remind me of how powerfully amazing life can be when you’re following your joy.

Note: If you want to learn about the great work that some of my clients have been up to, go here!